


blue caravan

by VibrantVenus



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Light is kind of soft for once, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Possibly Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, but not really, title is from a song, unrequited L/Light Yagami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 15:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12867081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibrantVenus/pseuds/VibrantVenus
Summary: for my true love is a man who never existed at allor, Light dreams and regrets.





	blue caravan

   At night he dreams of L. He dreams of his face in those few soft hours when he would fall asleep, he dreams of those moments when everything was simple. Just Light and L and the chain between them. L was...L was a star, bursting into a supernova, too fast, too early. Light thinks he loved him the way a devout worshiper loves their god.

   It's funny, because he had been the god in that relationship.

   Right?

   Light thinks maybe he was meant to end up this way.

    _gods do not get to love._

He thinks of the way L's face would have felt between the palms of his hands. Of how it would have felt to press his lips against L's. He only regrets his decisions late at night, when he is alone with his thoughts. 

   L could have killed him, and Light thinks he would have been okay with it.

   Their story was never meant to be anything but a tragedy, but Light still wishes things could have been different. Wishes he and L could have lived a normal life without magic notebooks, and murder and all of the ugly things that bound them together. 

   He wishes he could have been normal, despite how ill the though would have made his when he was younger. 

    _gods do not deserve to love._

He thinks L must have loved this world just as much as he hated it. Must have loved it a great deal more than Light had, to be willing to die for it. He'll never admit it out loud, but the thought of dying terrifies him. Before L it had been a latter of not being able to complete his divine mission, but now- 

   Now Light is afraid of facing L. Afraid of spending an eternity trying to make up for his mistakes in life.

   When he stares at himself in the mirror in the mornings, he imagines the blood that must coat his hands, imagines death in the form of a messy haired man with bags beneath his dark eyes, imagines his stark white hands against the warm skin of his shoulders. Imagines the way his lips would feel against his neck, his breath blowing softly against his throat. His chest erupting in goosebumps as one cold hand trailed softly down to his stomach.

   His relationship with death would always be complicated, he supposed.

    _gods do not live._

 __ He almost welcomes the bullets to his chest. Of course, they hurt, and of course he's terrified. But he can't help the relief that enters him, can't help his joy that it's finally over.

   His last thought is of L's hands caressing his hair out of his face.

    _gods do not dream._

_"Hello Light, I've been waiting for you."_

**Author's Note:**

> I left the ending kinda open, so you could say that L/Light stay platonic buddies, but you could also say they kissed in the underworld till the world ended like its your choice my dudes.


End file.
